Sunday, 12 October 2014

Open Letter to All Negative and Hateful People

It’s been a while since we posted something on our blog, and we’re sorry for that. Reasons for that varies: lack of time, holidays, new places, new people, new adventures.
Mainly we haven’t written anything, because we are tired. Since we started to write this blog, we follow various news outlets and women-centered stories and we are surrounded by enormous pile of shit, it’s unbelievable. 
Of course, we should expect that, nobody promised us roses and daisies and that all be just cuddly, sweet and super – duper cool and we all be friends once we start the feminist blog.
We knew it’s going to be hard.
Nevertheless, the amount of hatred and negative energy and resentment towards women and any subject (even remotely) connected to feminism is just suffocating. It’s overwhelming. It’s appalling.
If I see any bit of news where the rape victim is blamed for her assault; where somebody is saying something so absolutely and terrifyingly sexist and stupid; where an influential speaker lacks the understanding of basic mechanisms of functioning of society, human body or psychology; where a person gets criticized for defense of somebody’s rights – I swear to God, I’m going to scream, yell, throw a tantrum and go on maniac spree where I will be painting dicks on government’s buildings. 
I’m serious.
In terms of gender equality, feminism, sexual orientation, sexual attraction, gender roles, sexual violence, misogyny and patriarchy, there is whole wide world out there of different opinions. Unfortunately, those most offensive and hateful are the one that are yelled the loudest.
I just cannot understand how much hate and negativity people bear inside of them. Is it really that difficult to understand that everybody wants normal and happy life? Is it so terrible that I, as a woman, may see the problems in modern society and just want to feel safe and have the same prospects as men? I don’t want your money, I just want the sense of security that I’m protected by law and government from exploitation, sexual assault, domestic violence, trafficking and discrimination. Is it really that much to ask?
And what about all other-than-heterosexual people? Is it really that much of a tragedy that they will commit to a person of the same sex? Many countries are accepting gay marriage and somehow the world didn’t devilishly turned upside-down. So why is it still such a tragedy to “God fearing” but really hypocritically backwards societies to accept that everybody has a right to a family, to love and be loved by a person of their choice?
Transgender and transsexual people! They are just want to bring the world to an end! If we ever see the world crumbling down, it’s because of them. How DARE they defy God’s decisions? If the God gave them penis, they are bound to love that penis and cherish that penis for the rest of their life. If the God gave them vagina, it’s designed to give pleasure to the penis, so don’t you dare getting rid of it!
For crying out loud, it doesn’t hurt society and people if one person just changes some things about their body. You can’t see it from the Eiffel Tower, you can’t see it from the moon, so it really doesn’t destroy the grand scheme of things. But it might, just MIGHT make somebody happier about and with themselves.
That’s just the few examples of the hatred and discrimination and hostility that other people endure. Most often the people who dare to be different, who dare to stand out, who dare to disagree with generally accepted norms and who dare to speak up are the ones who takes the most beatings.
So I have a message to all of those hateful and discriminating people. And other people as well.
In life and in society there are two things: things that matter and things that don’t matter.
What doesn’t matter is your opinion.
Sure, you have a right to an opinion, but generally speaking, your opinion is irrelevant. It doesn’t matter if you are a “normal” person and it shouldn’t definitely matter if you are a politician or a public person. And most importantly, nobody’s opinion, that is in any way potentially discriminatory, should be taken into consideration when deciding about other people lives. Somebody’s interpretation of religious norms cannot be considered when implementing a piece of legislation. It cannot be considered when talking about other people freedoms and rights. And it unquestionably cannot lead to limitation of the rights of others.
The thing that matters is whether every person that is a part of a society, community or locality has equal rights. Can he or she do whatever they want with their life? Their career? Their future? Their body? Can her or she participate in a social life in the same way than another he or she can?
The thing that matters is that you have no right to limit freedoms of others. You have no right to spread your hate and suffocate others with your bigotry and self-ideation. There is a freedom of speech, you have a right to speak – but have also the right to remain silent. But it would be advisable for you to use the second option more often.
You have a right to have an opinion, to have your say, but don’t think for even the moment that you have a right to shove it in the faces of the others that you deem unworthy of existing. You are not creating a better future with your hatred, you are not creating anything. You are leading to a destruction of norms and deterioration of society.
I’m watching the news and I don’t believe in what I’m seeing. In Poland there is a medieval level discussion about domestic violence, with politicians and priests speaking against European Treaty on Violence Against Women. They cannot come up with a comprehensive legislation, because some politicians are against any other definition of family than “catholic” one. Also Poland is dragging its feet in terms of civil partnership or same-sex marriages, because… it’s against the “normal” definitions of families.
I see here four families? What about you?
You know what you can do with your limited definition of family? You can stick into your… significant bottom of the body. I don’t care whether you think that me and my partner are a family. I don’t care. For me, we ARE and that’s what matters. And only that should matter.
I hear the cavemen-style conversation about women being subordinate, wanting to be raped and deserving to be beaten. I see people protesting against equal rights for gay or transgender people, sex education, contraception, abortion, just basically anything that doesn’t concern them, but could somehow make other people’s life easier.
It’s sickening.
I just encountered the story, where anti-abortionists suggest euthanasia for raped women, because if they are willing to “kill” one of the rapists victims – a child, we can also kill the second victim as well. I will not even go into deeper discussion about abortion and all of the shit that “pro-life”, but really pro-nobody-f****-knows-what (because definitely it’s not life) claims. But how can a person, a man, who will NEVER get pregnant, be so fast to judge another person, their decision, their willingness to pick up the pieces after a traumatic event and carry on with what’s left of their normality. 
If you are a man, shut up on the topics of how it is to be a woman.
You are a woman who leads happy successful life? Shut up when the women who didn’t have as much luck as you do speak up of what happened to them.
You are white? Never dare to say that racism doesn’t exist and black people do not encounter any discrimination. And don’t you ever dare to say that immigrants are to blame for any mishaps in your country. You and other citizens fucked up, not them.
You are heterosexual person sure of their sexuality? Just don’t talk about how confused gay, bisexual or other-than-heterosexual people are. You now nothing, you are not them, so just shut up and let them be.
Are you happy with God-given gender? Good for you. But don’t use that God to bring down, humiliate and bully people who are convinced that God might have made mistake and they are on the path to correct that mistake.
Or maybe he is a guy who wears dreasses. Good for him, most of dresses are super comfy. You think he is disgusting? You are disgusting. He doesn't impact on your life, so stop trying to impact on his.
How can we claim to celebrate life, when most of us lack empathy, sympathy, warmth, understanding, willingness to understand (to any degree). Why is self-righteous bigotry so glorified and cherished, while any sign of solidarity with discriminated, underprivileged, victimized and invisible condemned and even socially punished?
My conclusion is as follows: if it doesn’t limit your basic human rights (below), but you don’t agree with it, just shut up and deal with it. If it does limit your rights and freedom, fight against it, but always remember – your freedom ends where another person’s starts.

Written by Vespertilio
P.S. For those who have no idea what human rights are, here is the link to the Universal Declaration of Human Rights and the European Convention on Human Rights. There is a high chance that you live in a country that accepted the Declaration, so get familiar with it and just try to respect rights of others.
P.S. 2. Last but not least... Song for all haters.

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