Fresh New Hell For Polish Women

Poland for few years now is slowly walking towards nationalist and right-wing tendencies. Catholics are feeling oppressed, because of the drive for equality of people they don’t feel worthy - homosexuals, transsexuals and unmarried people - and as a result are pushing for radicalisation of many aspects of social life.

First, the current ruling party - Law and Justice, was against Convention on preventing and combating violence against women and domestic violence, claiming that it goes against traditional catholic values. Main reservation was that it expands the definition of family outside of traditional view, i.e. married men and women with children.

Second, Poland is one of the few countries that has no legislation for same sex couples. There are some ways that same sex couples can tie themselves together legally, but recently it has been made more difficult if not impossible. Government reserves right to forbid couples from getting married abroad, doesn’t accept valid marriage certificates and makes it more difficult to obtain citizenship for children of same sex couples.

But it wasn’t enough. Now there are making moves to threaten women’s reproductive rights, women’s right to health and women’s right to bodily autonomy.

The anti-abortion organisation proposed the bill to totally ban abortion. The right would allow only for actions to save woman’s life when there is immediate threat and there is no other option. It plans to introduce new crime: “prenatal murder” and punish women and health care providers who terminate pregnancy for up to 5 years in prison.

Right now, we have some kind of “trade-off” regarding abortion rights. Abortion is legal, but only in three cases:

1.     Rape and incest

2.     Danger to mother’s health and life

3.     Serious fetal abnormalities

However, Poland also protected “conscience” of doctors by introducing “conscience clause”, where doctors are allowed to refuse medical treatment if it’s in disagreement with their moral compass. Furthermore, current law doesn’t require the doctor to indicate another health care provider who could terminate pregnancy, leaving women stranded, on their own, in a limbo, unable to find the doctor to provide the service and going against the clock to be allowed abortion on the legal grounds.

This situation led to serious human rights and patient rights abuses: from harassment of raped girls and refusal of abortion up to women having to give birth to seriously ill babies, which died an agonising death shortly after.

There were cases, when women were refused abortion in pregnancy defects that rendered them sterile.

Babies were born without bones, with hydrocephalus and other abnormalities. All of those instances qualified for legal abortion in Poland, but the choice was taken away from women and instead there were forced to see their babies die in pain. If abortion is murder, then I don’t know what kind of sadistic satisfaction anti-abortion people can have in this situation.

There is a controversy regarding abortion on down syndrome fetuses. Although there is a huge amount of people living with Down Syndrome who are fully functional in our society, but having such child poses serious problems to families: men usually cannot handle handicapped children and leave mothers to raise their child alone; children that end up in foster system are at serious threat of abuse and neglect; parents are constantly worried of how they can provide for their children and who will take care of them after their died. Those are serious issues that many families are facing daily without almost no support from government.

At the moment, if we compare and analyse maternal deaths and infant deaths both in Poland and Ireland, one begs the question of the consequences of anti-abortion legislation. Right now, Poland have one of the lowest maternal mortality in Europe. That’s something to be proud of! While Poland rate for maternal mortality is 3 per 100,000, for Ireland is 9 per 100,000 (Human Development Index, 2015). In statistics the numbers are negligible. In real life? Not so much.

However, if we look at child mortality, the numbers are more grim. In Ireland child mortality is 3.2 per 1,000 while in Poland its 4.5 per 1,000. So let’s imagine this in numbers. It’s estimated that in Poland 360-380 thousands babies are born each year. So it means that each year 1620 infants die each year (Human Development Index, 2015). Looking at the numbers above, it means that yearly around 10 women are dying at the childbirth (fun fact: during 12 year of Polish involvement in Afghan war, 43 soldiers died).

Every life lost is one to many.

The reasons for sure vary and it’s not all due to abuse of women’s rights, but it begs the question why Polish government is so fixated on saving a fetus, when there is clearly much to be done in saving already born babies and complete grown-up human beings.

We are afraid that restricting already strict abortion laws in Poland will result in more maternal deaths and more infant deaths. We are afraid that the legislation will lead to doctor’s reluctance to start life saving procedures faster out of fear of prosecution. We are afraid that the criminalisation of abortion will lead to investigation and (God forbid!) prosecution of miscarriages.

Although the legislation has been proposed by anti-abortion group it has been now widely supported by politicians from Law and Justice party, including our prime minister Beata Szydlo and the leader of the party - Jaroslaw Kaczynski.

The legislation has been widely supported by Polish Catholic Church and the letters from Episcopate supporting “Stop Abortion!” initiative had now been read in every church in Poland. It is also widely known that the current government is under pressure from the Church to introduce legislation highly abusing and restricting rights of women, non-binary people and other-than-heterosexual relationships.

If you encounter any news saying that the government is backing out from their statements - their not. It’s a lie. They are very much against abortion and they are very much against women.

As a result of this situation, social activist group emerged - Dziewuchy Dziewuchom. Although the group has been set up on 1st April 2016, it already have 100,000 members and supporters. Polish Women from around the world are organising protests and manifestations, everything what’s in our power to stop this all from happening.

We are working alongside various groups such as Ratujmy Kobiety (Safe the Women) and their initiative Moje Cialo, Moja Broszka (My Body, My Business) not only to stop the legislation, but also to abolish “conscience clause” and maybe even liberalise the current abortion law.

We are fighting so that women’s right to health and bodily autonomy is respected and protected.

Written by Vespertillio

for Dziewuchy Dziewuchom Irlandia

We Are Back!

Ladies and Gentlemen!

Bad girls and bad boys!

We are proud to announce that... we are back!

Our lives have been hectic recently that's why we didn't wrote anything for ages.

Between being unemployed, self-employed, semi-employed or full time employed, we just didn't have time to write. And the inspiration wasn't with us.

Some of us were battling our own demons.

Some of us were enjoying themselves traveling and meeting new people.

Some of us change their plans and were building new careers.

Some of us are preparing for marriage.

We were just busy being busy and living our lives.

But we are back now.

So stay tuned and keep an eye on our new posts!

Write to you soon!

Equal is the New Sexy Team

When It’s Not Always Clear That It Was Rape

Before you lynch me and burn me at the stake, let me explain first, please.

Let’s make something clear: I don’t want to argue about definition of rape or perform victim blaming or excuse perpetrators. It’s not about claiming that “well, if she kissed him than she really wanted to have sex with him” or “she shouldn’t have wear that” or “she brought it on herself” bunch of crap. I really applaud the modern day definitions of rape and sexual violence and the more inclusive of some sexual acts (not necessarily penile – vaginal), the better.

If it includes rape on men, than it’s really great. I’m all for clear definition and swift and punitive actions when the rape gets reported. I would really love to see more prosecution for the rapes when victims speaks up and more of society’s support when rape survivors are at their lowest.

I really dream of a day when I wake up and see in the news that some rape victim reported a crime and EVERYBODY is like: “what a brave woman” or “I really feel for her” or simple “I believe her”.

But if we look at the statistics, it’s hard not to be pessimistic. What, around 1 in 6 women and 1 in 33 men experienced sexualviolence in their life? The numbers vary from country to country, depending on definition of rape and who asks the question. But one thing is usually clear: false reports are scarce and yet few percentage of rapists get prosecuted. And that EVERY rape statistics is an underestimation of the total number of rapes. Because majority of sexual violence goes unreported.

Humanity is slowly learning about dynamics of violent and abusive relationships, the circle of fear and violence. That sometimes it’s more dangerous to leave abusive partner than to stay and try to endure. That there is so many ways that an abusive partner can tie the victim to himself – by economic means, fear, children, desperation, addiction, etc.

Also in terms of prosecuting of rape we came a loooong way. It’s acknowledged that rape can be committed by a partner, on a date, by a stranger or a member of a family. It doesn’t necessarily involve the use of force, because as it’s known, one of the fear response is to freeze. Simple “no” is enough as a proof that sex is unwanted or, as California went a step forward, a “yes” is required for sex to be considered consensual.

And again, I’m cheering and I am happy with every improvement on this ground, every small step towards seeing rape as it is – a grave violation of somebody’s integrity; and every step back from victim blaming and slut shaming is an incredible achievement.

And that brings us to the key point: some victims do not speak up. They do not report their victimisation. Heck, they don’t even mention it to their friends or families.

Sometimes it takes time to report rape. Sometimes victim needs to handle her own emotional issues connected to trauma, before she exposes herself to another danger. Mostly, the biggest deterrent is that “nobody will believe me” or “everyone will blame me”. Which is actually a real threat, considering that rape victims are treated awfully in criminal proceedings.

However, the point I’m trying to make (but haven’t even started yet) is that we have a problem with narrative that we create around rape. There is this damaging tendency to view sex and sexual violence (and therefore rape) as an extreme, as either black or white: either it did happen and therefore it is the crime that have to be reported and prosecuted; or it didn’t happen and victim is simply lying.

When we speak about rape, we highlight it’s disconnection from sexual pleasure and it’s actual roots in power and will to dominate. Many feminists portray it as a crime that requires harsh punishment. Some of us try really really hard to persuade the misogynist world that victim is never to blame (hail to that). And I believe that if the victim reports this crime, all of this facts are really important. And if we can get the work done soon, that would be just great.

So come on, let’s get to work.

Buuuuut…

What if the victim does NOT want to report the crime?

That’s when narrative radically changes. If rape is a crime and therefore rapist is a criminal, why wouldn’t anyone want to report rape? Unless he is threatening her or controlling her. Well, that’s an excuse. But if he isn’t? What if there is nothing standing in a way of reporting a crime except victims willingness to do so?

The extreme narrative somehow vilified the perpetrators of rape to the point that if someone we know (and like) is accused of committing rape, we automatically turn against victim and towards victim blaming, because it’s impossible that such a great guy can do such a bad thing.

So here is a brain-picker: what if some men who commit rape are actually a good guys who just did a bad thing? What if some men who commit rape actually love the women they raped?

And one more thing: What if victim did not report a rape, because she doesn’t want him to get into trouble? Because, well, she actually loves him?

If the victim has a feelings towards the perpetrator or is a relationship with him, there might be another thing happening: she will not admit to herself that it was rape. Because if rape is so bad and we are together and he loves me, than he couldn’t have raped me, could he?

And somehow we all aren’t allowing for this narrative to happen. We hardly see stories when rape happened in the scenario of consensual relationship. Because rape is bad and need to be reported or if the victim doesn’t report it, then it didn’t happen. And that’s it.

What we don’t realise is that through this extreme narrative, not only we prevent victims from speaking up and getting support, but automatically we are committing another violence on them: determining what happened to them based on their actions. We are deciding what it is that they should do, regardless of what they would like to do.

By this extreme narrative, we are stripping victim of choice, because in order to be considered raped, she needs to report it and name the rapist. By this extreme narrative, we are silencing their mixed emotions of having some warm feelings towards rapist and at the same time feeling totally betrayed and violated.

Now the big what if: What if we start to concentrate on what victim wants and needs instead of categorising her response to the act as an indicator of crime occurring? What if we suddenly decide that the well-being of the victim is an upmost priority and therefore whatever she is comfortable with, we just accept it? And if she said that she was raped and doesn’t want to report it, then we will offer her simple: “I believe you. Is there anything I can do for you?”.

There is an actual story behind the point I’m making. I have a personal story to share.

My boyfriend, whom I love dearly and we are together couple of years now, did rape me and did sexually harass me at some point in our relationship. I never told anybody, because a) I refused to call it sexual violence; b) the acts where in such a grey area that by many it would be deemed nothing; c) if someone would believe me, I was shielding myself from listening to insults towards him. Because by the end of the day, he is still my boyfriend and I love him.

Two of the situations happened when we were both drunk. In a fervour of emotions and alcohol, he decided that he would love to pleasure me. And he continued to do so, regardless of the fact that I really didn’t want him to. He hold me down, until I really struggled myself out of his embrace. His response both time was that he would never hurt me and he only wanted to please me. So you see, not really the terrible rape/sexual violence nightmare scenario.

The third situation happened when we had sex after amazing foreplay, in my favourite position, in a way that I always liked it. But this time I wasn’t liking it. I was hurting and asked him to be more gentle and slow down, but he didn’t stop until he was finished. So again, very ambivalent situation and not really a great prosecution material.  

There was no bruises, there was no violence, there was no screams or threats. It just sort of happened that way.

Regardless of their triviality, those events did leave a mark. I still sometimes cry at the memory of those events. It paralyses me, when I smell alcohol from him, even if I know that he just had two sips of beer. Once he came back home drunk and all he could manage was crawl into bed and fall asleep. But I still lost it. I couldn’t sleep entire night, I was crying half terrified, half furious that he could be in such a state when I’m most afraid of him. 

Sometimes, when I have too much to drink I’m flushed with negative feelings towards him and all I want is to hurt him, as if somehow it would alleviate the pain I’m feeling.

So why I stayed with him? Well, because I love him. And since that time he changed a lot. It took me loads of time and effort, to explain to him why the things that he did were bad and how did it make me feel. He worked long time for his understanding that sometimes I will just have a flashback and get from “I’m horny, just f*** me” to “don’t touch me and get away from me” in a second, but he allows me for some space and comforts me when it happens. He is more perceptive towards my responses during sex, and flinches at every sign of discomfort. Sometimes it’s a downer on a passion part, but at least I feel safe with him that now he won’t do anything to hurt me.

I am the total contradiction to the prevalent rape narrative. I was sexually violated by my boyfriend and no, I didn’t report a crime and yes, it was still a sexual violence. Yes, he is a good person and yes, he still committed the act.

But even if the rape survivor is a person like me, with feelings towards rapist and absolute unwillingness to call it rape and report it as a crime, it doesn’t mean that it doesn’t leave a mark. It doesn’t mean that the victim is not having flashbacks, trauma, nightmares or avoids situations that serves as a reminder of that time.

Sexual violence, ANY act of sexual violence, be it rape, harassment or some minor acts like street harassment always affect victims one way or another. Most of the times there will be no tears, no screaming, no shock and no severe mental illnesses and traumas. But there will be this sinking feeling that something has been stolen from you, something that impacts on your sense of security, ability to trust and willingness to “be normal”.

And I think it’s another step that we need to take – be more understanding towards victims. Be better listeners. Be more perceptive of how the situation did affect the person. Be more understanding that it takes time to deal with the situation. And most importantly, we need to stop measuring situation by our own perception of how the rape victim should act like and what she/he should do and just simply accept that rape is one of this crimes that it’s never black and white, but it’s in every shade in the colour pallet. That the dynamics of relationship that the victim is in, her state of mind, age, social background and familial ties all impact on the sexual violence scenario, on the ability to handle the situation and on the victim’s behaviour after the act.

And that sometimes for the victims it is not always clear that it was rape.

Written by Khutulun

P.S. If you experienced sexual violence and you don't know how you feel and what to do with this feelings, have a look at Nina Burrowes book. It's amazing. It helps.

Teaser!

We are very happy to have Mawada joining our team! She's super busy at the moment, but here a small teaser of what she will be writing about...

Mawada, stage is yours!

I have always had a problem with sexual harassment in Cairo, Egypt. Where a woman could get harassed anywhere anytime in the presence of witnessing public who normally choose to keep silent. Sexual harassment in Cairo happened to me in public transportation, streets, university and unfortunately even once in a mosque. Normally I take action speak out and shout, though shouting never made me feel satisfied or in peace. I have always felt as if I was ripped off.

Public witnesses never intervened to help; on the contrary they intervened to keep me “the victim” silent. I remember once I was on a public bus in Cairo I got harassed, started shouting, looked right into the harasser eyes and scolded him. He kept his eyes shut and pretended to be sleeping. I kept shouting… people looked at me as a source of disturbance & turned their faces away. I even kept asking women not to sit close to the guy because he is a harasser. The only response I got was from a girl who was sitting next to me... She asked me to keep silent because it happens every day & because my complaints annoyed her….

Written by Mawada

She is Not Somebody, She Belongs to Somebody

I received this picture from my friend. She wrote to me: “I don’t really understand this picture. You can introduce the man in the same way”.

Of course you can. But it’s never done.

And I’m not saying about some birthday party, where you introduce some new person into the group of friends saying: “This is Fred, he is Katie’s boyfriend” or “this is Matt, he is Anna’s big brother”. This situations happen and it’s natural to mention the affiliation of somebody newly met. And in that case everybody is somebody’s sister, brother, mother, father, grandma, uncle, friend, girlfriend, etc.

But what this picture is implying is that in the outside world woman is not perceived in her own autonomy and through the lens of her own achievements. She might be successful, but she will always belong to somebody.

And that’s the problem.

There are two women that automatically came to mind when I saw this picture: Rona Fairhead and Amal Alamuddin.

Rona Fairhead is a highly achieving business woman, with lots to offer. She is the former CEO of the Financial Times Group and a former non-executive director at HSBC. And she was on the path to yet another success: becoming the first woman in charge of overseeing the BBC. Being the person that Rona is, it shouldn’t be difficult to write an appropriate headline to announce that she is a probable choice for this position. Some of them were, but not all. For example, The Telegraph, for which they were later on slammed. “Mother of three poised to lead BBC” was written loud and clear.

We can argue many things in this instance: that it was just one incident, that Telegraph might be biased at a time, that it’s not a big deal… But it did happen and it is a big deal. Tell me, how her motherhood has anything to do with her credentials to do this job? She could have a small kindergarten with adjacent zoo for all I care and it still shouldn’t matter whether she is cut up for this job or not.

And most important thing: this is a headline that we have never seen describing a man.

Second person, Amal Alamuddin. Amazing woman, accomplished international and human rights lawyer. She hold a degree from Oxford University where she won Shrigley Award and she has LLM degree from New York University (plus Jack J. Katz Memorial Award for excellence in entertainment law). She represented clients in cases before the International Criminal Court, the International Court of Justice and the European Court of Human Rights, etc. So pretty much she rocks!

But she got engaged. And she got engaged to a famous person – George Clooney.

There is a whole wide world of possibilities how to describe the engagement of two such high achieving people. But apparently it’s too difficult for some…

The headline of The Telegraph: “George Clooney engaged to ‘utterly beautiful’ British lawyer”! Rushing to explain: “The Hollywood star's engagement to glamorous human rights lawyer Amal Alamuddin is warmly welcomed by friends and work colleagues”.

And it’s not the point that she is not pretty, because she is. But at this point of her career with such achievements, it shouldn’t be the first thing that is mentioned. But that’s what the entire article is about: how hot she is.

But it’s get more interesting (read: worse). Amal Alamuddin was offered a position in UN’s three-member commission of inquiry looking into possible violations of international criminal law. And yet again, she was offered this job because of her successes, not her hotness and fiancé. But apparently the most important information is that she was engaged to George Clooney.

Oh, come on! It’s George Clooney! It’s pretty big deal, right?

Wrong.

The Guardian was all over this and just didn’t seem to know the difference between crucial information and not-that-relevant-to-the-case information.

First there was “Amal Almuddin, George Clooney’s fiancée, toserve on UN Gaza inquiry”. If it wasn’t enough, the information had to be restated: “British Lebanese lawyer Amal Alamuddin, who is engaged to George Clooney, has been chosen...”. Then there is some mentioning about her achievements (I’m not even sure whether those are even correct or not).

However, her probable co-workers, who both were male, received a different kind of description:

“The UN’s top human rights body says she will serve alongside Doudou Diene of Senegal, a lawyer who has filled UN posts on racism and human rights in Ivory Coast, and Canada’s William Schabas, an international law professor at Middlesex University in London, who will chair the commission.”

Is this discrepancy caused by lack of famous partner? Because for me it seems that The Guardian make its best effort to minimalize Amal’s life’s work and bring it down to her being “hot and engaged to someone famous”.

At the end of a day, Amal’s engagement was a problem. There has been voices saying that the choice of Amal for the commission is an attempt to bring more attention to the cause by involving Hollywood and the future-to-be husband, George Clooney.

On the other hand, William Schabas is a known critic of Israel, which also brought controversy. But somehow news of him being in the commission brought another types of headlines: “Known Israel critic to lead UNHRC Gaza probe” or “Baird’s criticism of Canadian international lawyer and UN investigation of Gaza a sign of the times” or “Jonathan Kay: William Schabas’ casual anti-Israeli bias makes him a perfect fit for a UN ‘fact-finding’ inquiry”. All of them more descriptive, more about him and his views, but also acknowledging who he is and what are his credentials.

She finally turned down the offer, because she was busy with eight other cases (and you know, wedding preparations, cakes, flowers, that sort of thing – it’s more important than some career!)

Her refusal was welcomed with:

The New York Daily News:  “Amal Alamuddin, George Clooney’s fiancée, turns down spot on UN war crimes panel on Gaza” (New York Daily News).

The Daily Mail: “George Clooney's British barrister fiancée turns down UN offer to help probe 'war crimes' by Israel and Hamas in Gaza” 

The Australian: “George Clooney’s fiancée Amal Alamuddin turns down UN Gaza inquiry offer.”

InternationalBusiness Times: “George Clooney's Fiancée Amal Alamuddin Declines to be Part of UN Gaza Probe Panel”

If it’s not enough to convince you, Daily Life published very interested article on how sexism treated Amal throughout that time. 

I could go on forever on this issue and find plenty more examples of how media can bring down any woman’s achievement by highlighting her affiliation and belonging. But let’s stop here. I’ll just mention again, that this is how men have never been treated by media. It was never relevant whether he is a father of five, uncle of actress or husband to some eligible girl. Somehow, we haven’t seen headlines such as: “Amal Alamuddin engaged to deliciously hot actor” or “George Clooney, fiancé of human rights lawyer Amal Alamuddin, will star in…”. Because when a man achieves a success, he owns it. If woman achieves the success – there is always a question of who she is outside of that success.

So no, she is not somebody’s mother, sister or wife. She is somebody, somebody with aspiration, ambitions, talents, achievements. And it’s bloody time we start perceive women from the perspective of themselves, not others.

Written by Vespertilio

5 Things to Remember When the Man Wants You to Have Unprotected Sex with Him

Have you ever decided to have an unprotected sex because a guy told you that he doesn’t like condoms?

Well, probably you have. I have also experienced this a few years back too many times than I should ever had. And I wish that back then I would be able to think in a way I do today.

We are all frequently reminded what an unprotected sex leads to, but in an atmosphere thick of sexual tension we tend to forget all the rules and believe that we will be okay. I guess this is how the mother nature has shaped us. We’re often careless when excited, hence it’s easier to reproduce.

But I am not going to teach you here what are the risks of having an unprotected sex because you certainly know it all too well - starting with pregnancy, through sexually transmitted diseases, up to lots of stress. 

But what it ACTUALLY means when a man asks you to put that condom aside.

1.      He doesn’t care about your health.

It can be all pink and rosy when you’re with your loved one in bed and he tells you he doesn’t have any STD’s because he loves only you and earlier he always protected himself. Don’t believe it. If tonight he doesn’t want to use a condom, he surely did the same thing with the girls before you. Very often men are not aware that they are infected with HPV or HIV or any other diseases, especially those which are not harmless for men but dangerous for women (like HPV). So although they can tell you that they are “clean”, don’t trust them and give them that condom.

2. He doesn’t care about your frame of mind.

And that's the reaction only if the guy
hangs around long enough to help
you out with the consequences.

The moment when you are about to have sex is a timeless pleasure when you want everything to be romantic or wild and sexy. For a man the intercourse and all its consequences theoretically end with his orgasm, but you are going to feel the echo of the decision of not using a condom until you get your next period. All those days of waiting for that ideal red stain on your panties can be agonising if the period happens to be even a bit late. A man who asks you not to use a condom because he doesn’t LIKE it, apparently has no idea whatsoever what his short and doubtfully more intense pleasure will mean for you. His temporary satisfaction will only entail days of you feeling nauseatingly stressed and not being able to focus on anything else, rather than thoughts of when the hell will you get that period. Is his satisfaction really worth that agony?

3. He only cares about his own pleasure.

And not yours. During the intercourse, your thoughts of the fact that he is inside you now without any protection and that you have to fully depend on his ability to control himself to ejaculate outside your vagina can really damage the whole experience of love making. How should you relax if you know that a bit of forgetfulness can have a massive impact on your future? It’s all about forgetting yourself and relaxing when having sex, so why should you worry about anything just because he wants more satisfaction? 

Your pleasure is equally important as his. 

Tell him to wear a condom. Period.

4. He thinks a morning-after pill is an easy escape.

The rules on how to get an emergency contraception differ substantially from country to country. In most of the Western European countries it is more or less easy to access it. You can either get it for free at a GP or buy it without a prescription for a decent price. 

Unfortunately, it’s not so easy-breezy in some countries, for example: Poland. In order to get the pill, you have to visit a doctor and be lucky enough to get a prescription from him/her. It often happens that they want to “protect your morals” and their own conscience so they refuse to fulfil your request. Sometimes after not being able to receive it at a doctor’s covered by your insurance, you have to head to a private doctor. After procuring the prescription, you have to go to a pharmacy and pay around 15 to 30 euros for one stupid pill. 

And all that quest must be undertaken within 72 hours after this guy’s ejaculation in your vagina. 

Not to mention all of the side effects that the pill will have on you. Nausea, headaches, vomitting, ridiculously painful contraction, because your uterus is getting ready to get rid of anything that comes near it, mood swings and many other shabang that goes with taking an emergency pill (insertion by Vespertilio).

Is it really worth it?

5. He doesn’t care about YOU.

Honestly, if this guy still doesn’t want to use condoms although he knows how highly stressed you will be, he shouldn't be the guy to spend the night with. Be straightforward and tell him: no protection means no sex. Thank you very much, now leave.

Care about yourself same deal, or even more, than this guy cares about his temporary satisfaction. 

Good luck and enjoy your safe and worry-free sex! :-)

Written by Nakshatri